Mayor “Green” Dean wants you to pledge to turn off the water when you brush your teeth.

The mayor wants us to get serious about saving the planet. This was in the newspaper today:

Dean calls for pledge to conserve

Mayor Karl Dean is asking Nashville residents to take a five-step pledge to help the environment by saving electricity and water and cutting back on greenhouse gas emissions.

The mayor is asking people to use at least four compact fluorescent light bulbs; turn off the water while brushing their teeth; take the bus, walk, ride a bike or carpool at least once a week instead of driving; plant a tree; and use reusable shopping bags. [Full Article]

I think Mayor Karl Dean is a pretty good mayor. He did not ask for a tax increase this year and he balanced the budget. He seems serious about improving Nashville’s embarrassingly terrible public school system. In general he has been a dignified, practical, business-like mayor. We have had no city scandals. That is about all I expect from a mayor. I think I voted for him. This latest from the Mayor, however, strikes me as silly green symbolism.

They are going to kick off this environmental pledge campaign tonight before the Nashville Sounds baseball game. Steve Gild, an environmental health and safety officer at Vanderbilt University, his wife and three sons are going to be the first to take the pledge in a ceremony prior to the game. I don’t know if they will raise their right hand and place their left on a Bible and solemnly swear an oath or if they will just nod their head yes when asked if they will do these five things. I wonder if they will get a copy of a certificate confirming their pledge?

This is just the kick off to the pledge campaign. I don’t know how much effort is going into this campaign. Will there be pledge commercials and billboards and peer pressure and school children indoctrination? If they are giving certificates suitable for framing I would like one. Let me see if I could meet the pledge requirements.

1. Use at least four fluorescent light bulbs. Easy, I already to that. I think I was conned however in buying florescent. I thought they were supposed to last six years. The first one I ever used, I put on my front porch. To change that light bulb I have to get a latter from the basement and climb a latter to change it. I did not want to have to change that bulb very often. I was sold on the fact they are supposed to be long lasting. After putting in the first one, I swear it was out in about six weeks. I don't think in general use they last any longer than a incandescent. There is one burning in the basement that stays on all the time. I never turn it off and it has lasted a long time. They do save energy, which saves money, and I am really into saving money. So, I am assuming the upfront cost pays for itself in electric savings. I counted at least four of them in use in my house, so I can check off item number one.

2. Turn off the water while brushing your teeth. Can we negotiate on this one? I like to leave the water running while brushing my teeth. My water bill never runs over $9.61 a month which means I am not exceeding the minimum charge, so I am using very little water. What if instead of turning off the water while bushing my teeth I agree to only shower 6 days a week instead of seven. Some days when I go from my air conditioned home to my air conditioned office in my air conditioned car and then back, and I don’t do my exercise or go out anywhere, I don’t think it would hurt to skip a shower. If on those days when I don’t sweat, if I skip a shower can I still leave the water on while brushing my teeth?

What about this: If me and my wife shower together, instead of separately, could that take the place of turning the water off while teeth brushing? Or this: I only wash my car about once every three months. I take it to the Hot Springs place and get the deluxe. When I get back in it, it feels like I am in a new car. Now, some people I know wash their car much more often. It does not seem fair that I can’t substitute forgoing a car wash for turning the water off while brushing my teeth. I bet that in a lifetime of turning the water off while brushing my teeth, I would not use as much water as one car wash.

3. Take the bus, walk, ride a bike or carpool at least once a week. I can’t do that. I have to come home for lunch. I won’t go into why, but I just have to. In the past I use to occasionally ride my bike to work on Friday’s. That was when I had a different work schedule and only had to work half a day on Friday. I could still occasionally do it if some scumbag had not stolen my bike off my front porch last fall. I only live about three miles from work. Could we talk about this requirement? This is going to be very hard for most people to do. Some people caught up in the spirit of “green” may take the pledge then not follow through. Car pooling is inconvenient. Most people do not have the same destination or schedule as their neighbors. Good luck on getting very many people to seriously follow through on this pledge. I just don't think they will do it.

Anyway, I would like to be except from this part of the pledge and still get my green credentials. Let me tell you my logic: I don’t drive a lot. I live three miles from my work, three miles from the heart of downtown, two miles from one sister and not too far from other family. I seldom drive very far. I don't drive out to the malls except about once a year. I only use about a tank of gas a month. Now, it does not seem fair that someone who lives in Mt. Juliet and drives to town everyday should get the benefit of being a pledge, when even if they do carpool once a week, they are still doing a lot more damage to the environment then I. I choose to live where I do. I could have chosen to move to the suburbs. So, shouldn’t living close to town and work and thereby not driving much anyway earn me more green points than giving up a vehicle one day a week but living far away?

4. Plant a tree. Mayor, where do you want me to plant this tree? My yard is so shady, I can’t grow any flowers now. I will do this however. I have all kinds of trees coming up in my yard and I just hate to cut them down. I have some maple samplings about three feet tall. I will dig one of them up and plant it on the public space adjoining Wedgewood Ave, behind my house. I hope public works doesn't cut it down. I am not going to get a permit or ask, I am just going to do it. Actually I have already planted a couple trees on that bank. I will plant one more. One of the maples is now a pretty good size tree. I planted it the first year I moved here.

5. Use renewable shopping bags. This I am not going to do. I would forget them. This is a hassle. Can I substitute something else? Instead, if I will not buy new clothes but will buy my clothes at goodwill, can I get green points for doing that? I have seen some of the people at Traders Joe's with their reusable bags and they then go get in their SUV with Williamson County licence plates. I bet I am greener than they.

Mayor Dean, I agree to two of the five and I think have made a pretty good argument about why I should be able to substitute or be exempt from the other three. Can I still have my green credentials? Anyway, why these five? I could have come up with five "greener" things than that and qualified. I live a pretty frugal life style. I usually shop at Good Will except for shoes. I live in a modest two-bedroom, one-bath house. I almost never buy anything new. I don’t drink bottled water. I drive a modest mid size car instead of an SUV. I don’t have a swimming pool. I don’t go on trips very often. I bet I am a lot greener than a lot of the people who will take your green pledge. Unless we can negotiate some of your pledge items, I guess I will just not get my green certificate, but it doesn’t seem fair.

I do have a suggestion for you. The story in the paper said that the Sounds were hosting this event and calling it the “Go Green Night” and everyone was being encouraged to wear green. This is the second year they have hosted such an event. Why not in the future make the “Go Green” night on St Patrick’s Day and then we could kill two birds with one stone? (Not that I kill birds.) I think drinking green beer is a good way to show you support the environment. I could do that.

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