Buy your Carbon Off-Sets Here!
Earth Day Special
Live Guilt Free, Get Your Certificate Suitable For Framing.
Show your friends how responsible you are.
Makes great Gifts!
$5.50 per Ton, this week only !
For only $5.50, I will give you a certificate saying that you have my permission to spew one ton of carbon into the air and not have a dirty conscience.
Projects funded by purchase of offsets, include the following:
- Preservation of the tree in my front yard
- Forgoing auto trips from Nashville to Knoxville. I can forgo up to 3 trips a day
- For $42,000 worth of offsets, I will trade my low gas-mileage car for a high mileage hybrid.
- Forgoing owning a dog. One of the worst things you can do for the environment is own a dog. A look around the Centennial Park Earth Day celebration shows many attendees own dogs. A dog has a larger environmental impact than an SUV. I will forgo getting a dog, you can pay me for doing so, and you can own your dog guilt free. Price negotiable.
Purchase our “Green Elephant Special”: 2 tons of carbon off-set for only $9.50.
Disgruntled Republican Enterprises also has a bridge in Brooklyn for sale. Also we have clients in Nigeria who are looking for Americans who will help them dispose of millions of dollars by putting the funds in their checking account. Disgruntled Republican Ministries also has miracle prayer cloths for sale. We accept cash, checks, money orders, paypal and forever postage stamps.
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